Of Christmases and Hope

"Second star to the right and straight on till morning." ~ Peter Pan

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. It's my most favorite holiday and something I've been looking forward to all year. It has been a happy occasion for the family. More than the food and gifts, it's a time when we all get together.

Choice, chance and grabbing life by the balls

This post is inspired by the Awkward marathon I did over the weekend and the recent mind-boggling thoughts occurring in my brain for the past couple of weeks.

Today, I took a chance and made a choice. I took a step forward hoping this move will bring me closer to my dreams. It is now out of my hands so I will have to wait. I have to grab life by the balls, that's what exactly I'm doing...

Like how the snake is devouring the lizard's head.

xxx,

Miko

Disconnection

I've been very reliant on technology ever since I moved to Singapore. Don't blame me, it's the fastest way to get me connected to my family at home and friends from all over. It's a given that I use it at work. That would be eight to ten hours a day = 50 hours in a week. Sometimes I bring my laptop at home so I can watch series and movies, browse the Internet or write.

I know it's not healthy so I try as much as possible to do other things which do not require Internet connection. So today, I dragged my lazy ass, got my camera and walked around Punggol Park to jog and watch the sun set.

Here are some of the photos I took.

Spot the cat.

I smile

I wish I could tell the whole world who's making me smile at the moment. But I don't want to jinx it (there's nothing to jinx in the first place, BOO YEAH!).

How I miss the peace of mind someone brings after you talk to them. The late night messages, exchange of thoughts, sharing of whatever you did today just because. The smile upon receiving a sweet message that I can't seem to wipe off my face. How clicking the message alert on your phone or messenger automatically brightens up my day.

Though not constant, I'm very glad I have those moments.

Someday.

Time to update my fairy tale

I just watched Friends with Benefits if it wasn't obvious enough with the title of this post.

So yes, it's almost the end of the film where the girl realizes she has feelings for the guy and vice versa, blah di blah...

Fast forward to the scene where her mom told her it's time to update her fairy tale. A line I would have to write about eventually on this blog and a girl hooked on the false pretenses of a (American) romantic comedy wishing the same will happen in real life --- my life to be exact.

So there I was, with my mind still playing tricks on me, exiting the movie house with high hopes of creating my love story soon. As I stepped out of the mall, reality sinks in and I'm back to convincing myself that it's just a movie and any similarities to real life are pure coincidences. 

I am a Disney baby, I believe in falling stars and wishing wells. I am a fan of happily-ever-afters and I am still waiting for my Prince Charming. Judge away!

Waiting and waiting... for how long? until when? Only fate knows. So is fate by chance or by choice?

There's a way to find out. I should go out more often. Instead of curling up in bed and watching these shows, which are great by the way, but it doesn't really help with my ultimate goal. The joy I feel after I watch is only short-lived and then I feel sad again.

I should go out and walk. Stop wallowing and just get out there.

It's time to find a good "how we met story". A story I can tell my children and grand kids. Oh, and time to find someone to complete the "we".

Yes, I was stalking that Cal-Carries model.

Overwhelmed

Yes I am.

Everything seems to be happening all at the same time. I'm not complaining. I think I never complain that much. If I can take it all in, I will (SIDE NOTE: I really should learn how to say NO).

But then I tell myself, I've been through a lot of things more complicated than this. So I am not giving up without a fight. I know I can do this. If no one will pat me on my back, I'll do it myself. I can reach my back anyway.

Photo pick-me-upper: Lewis pushing me towards the fountain.

Surrender

I succumb to the pits of loneliness tonight

Release my grip and let the mask of pretend fall

Along with what I thought were pillars of strength

Slowly crumbles until none is left

- Miko 16/09/11

I feel like a million dollars

That's what I'm feeling right now. Just let me, I deserve it.


You know how you thought that you are not good at something? Well, I know I was good at writing way back when (don't dare ask) until that time I felt insecure because I realized there are other people better than me. I stopped doing. I stopped trying.


And then an opportunity presented itself. Pam (a.k.a. author of Paper Cuts, Polish Police and Pajammy) asked me to write about my first PinkDot experience. Who am I to say no?


I immediately drafted the article. Overanalyzed for a bit. Then panicked. Found someone online to proof it for me. Luckily, Evan was still awake. Sent the draft to him, praying for few corrections or edits. 


I did not know that she will run it as a byline so I did not prepare any title for the article. I'm glad she did, it would have taken me hours to come up with one.


Let me share with you my first ever published byline article in the Philippine Daily Inquirer:

Seriously, who wouldn't feel like a million bucks with this? Your name on actual physical newspaper, in one of Philippine's main broadsheets? Never mind the fat photo but this is so cool! Oh, and don't forget the online version too - http://lifestyle.inquirer.net/4197/the-dot-makes-a-point

I'm not really an actual writer but I'm really just happy that I got the chance to do it. I really admire the people who write for a living because I know for them that it's more than a source of income. It's something they love to do, their passion and their way of changing the world. At least, I get to experience what it feels like. It felt really good, great even.

So like a Ho

Everytime someone asks me what I do for a living I find it hard to make them understand what Public Relations is. Trust me, I get funny responses sometimes like:

Person: So what do you do for a living?

M: I'm in the PR industry.

P: Oh, so you're a permanent resident (of Singapore).

M: *facepalm*

Another one would be:

P: You're in PR, like Advertising!

M: *shouting in my head* For crying out loud PR is not and it's never Advertising. Understand???

I guess this will explain what I do better.

I'm actually like a prostitute... 

So what's it really like working in the PR industry? (Shared by my colleague, who's also like a prostitute)

• Our ‘customers’ are called clients... like prostitutes
• We work in weird shifts... like prostitutes
• They pay you to make the client happy... like a prostitute
• The client pays a lot of money, but your employer keeps almost every penny... like a prostitute
• You are rewarded for fulfilling the client's dreams... like a prostitute
• Your friends fall apart and you end up hanging out with people in the same industry as you... like a prostitute
• When you meet the client you always have to be perfectly groomed... like a prostitute
• But when you go back home it seems like you are coming back from hell... like a prostitute
• The client always wants to pay less but expects incredible things from you... like a prostitute
• When people ask you about your job, you have difficulties to explain it... like a prostitute
• Everyday when you wake up, you say: I'M NOT GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE DOING THIS"..... OH just like a prostitute

The only difference is the prostitutes can take Christmas and New Year's Eve off and they actually DO make a lot of money!!!

Yes, that's me... just like a prostitute

Finding someone to roll with

There are those nights when I feel alone, like I-pity-myself-for-being-alone just like last Friday. 

As usual, I was the last one in the office (I finished all my timesheets). Oh, and I don't have a date. I don't even bother going home early because there's no one there waiting for me. I do sound pathetic now.

One thing I'm grateful for is the Internet. It keeps me entertained and connected with my friends back home. That particular Friday night took a U-turn and swerved away from boredom.

Here's why...

A random conversation with Evan, my love. Thanks for making my usually boring Friday night fun even from miles away.

P.S. Conversation translated to English (but I swear it would be funnier in Filipino).

E: Still in the office?

M: No. Just finished doing the laundry. I miss home just because I usually don't do chores.

E: Price of independence.

M: Yes. Tomorrow I have to iron my clothes, clean the room (and the ranting goes on). At least I can get married already given my household skills.

E: *laughs*

M: I just don't like washing the dishes. And I don't know how to cook so you'll die of hunger if we ever get married *laughs*

E: I know how to cook *LOL* It's quite fun to experiment in the kitchen. I just don't like to wash the dishes *LOL*

M: OK ;-)

E: But it's tolerable (washing dishes) *LOL*

M: So how are we going to eat? Do we just use paper plates? *laughs*

E: Banana leaves *LOL* or we could get a dishwasher *LOL*

M: Can! *laughs*

The conversation went on until after past midnight but I don't want to divulge the details of that part of the chat because I could get killed. *wink*

Well, except for one important reminder: Don't look for someone who will fill you or make you whole. Instead, find someone who will roll with you. 

"Can you be my rolling buddy? Let's rock and roll!"

I intend to find my Big O, that is if I can't convince you to roll with me, E! It was a fun Fridate night over Facebook chat with you. I miss you lots!

I'm static and it's not fantastic

What's wrong with me? Well, nothing really but sometimes I create static electricity randomly.

Exhibit A: Skin-to-skin contact

Easy, dirty-minded individuals! My friends tell me that they feel electrocuted whenever our skin fleetingly touch. I feel it too. Sometimes I see sparks coming from me, those white lightning-like sparks.

Exhibit B: Skin-to-metal contact

When I was younger, I almost died of electrocution because I keyed in the house keys in the electric socket. Talk about dumb moment. Spare me, I was a kid who loves to explore and experiment. My theory is, that's how I got this 'electrifying characteristic' of mine. 

Anyway, this often happens when I touch doorknobs and metal hand rails. For a time, I got scared and I had to use a cloth just so I could hold the knobs in order for me to open doors.

Exhibit C: Skin-to-fabric contact

This I hate the most although I think it's cool sometimes. Aside from the sparks I create, there's this crackling sound (like the one an aluminum foil makes). I hear it and I see it. Everytime I move under my blanket and when my exposed skin (hands, arms and legs, silly) touch the fabric I hear crackles. When the lights are off, you can also see white, bright and shiny sparks.

Another situation would be, polyester fabrics cling to me. Even sheer cloth too. My dilemma everytime is my dress hikes up when it clings. You can see my unwanted fats.


Bigger problem, how will I find out who Mr. Right is? When I have 'connection (via static electricity)' with every other person...


Oh well!

Living the rural life

Current location: Paoay, Ilocos Norte

Leeching Wi-Fi from the neighbor (at ze balcony) because dongle is slower than a turtle.

How I spent my first (ever) one week vacation (definitely not the last)?

By living the rural life.

Not entirely since I'm writing this blog which needs Internet connection in order for me to finish.

From Singapore, I spent the weekend in Kota Kinabalu with Charl and Nix. Spent a day on the beach and another hiking/trekking. But that's a story for another day.

Now, I'm in the province. This is where I grew up and spent most of my childhood summers. It's been years since I've been here. I had to come this time because it's my Lolo Fred's death anniversary. I wasn't able to come home last year when he passed away. It was a rough time for me because I had no money for air fare so I just spoke to them via Skype. Yes, I cried like a kid because it was the first time I wasn't with my family when it happened.

Anyhoot, I just pulled this fast one to update. As if I have readers. But I definitely have more stories to share.

Laters!

I almost set the office on fire...

I'm never going to use the microwave oven again.

After a three-day vacation with my family I was back at work last Wednesday. I happily hopped to the pantry to reheat the ensaymada I brought for my breakfast. I put it on a plate, set the timer and went back to my seat.

And then the unthinkable happened! There was yellow smoke coming out of the oven and burnt smell. That woke me up. I quickly stood up and ran back to the pantry, opened the oven and to my horror - charred bread and broken plate.

Of course I had to clean the mess I made. We had to open the office doors (for the lack of windows) and decrease the room temperature. Oh and the most humiliating part, our neighbor complained about the smoke and had to send the building admin to check. 

So that's how this week of madness started. Good thing I had food with me to bribe them and make them forget about that incident.

 Lesson learned: just eat the food and don't bother reheating.

When will I be able to say...

"I must've done something right..."

I've been depressed and frustrated at myself lately. I feel like I'm not doing anything at all. I'm unproductive and very emotional. I also feel like crap.
 
Felt like Andy when she was trying to prove herself to Miranda.

A scene from the movie The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

I only have myself to blame for not doing anything about it. I was just talking about breaking bad habits and here I am, helpless.

Someday, I will be able to say that line. Maybe tomorrow.

Au revoir!

I have this bad habit of starting something and stopping in the middle, then forgetting all about it. And this is my attempt of breaking the habit - by completing what I write.


Moving on...


I hate goodbyes.


It's such a sad word like an ending, a full stop. What makes it sadder is what happens after that.

I'm a bit emotional about this. Two of my friends, although I only knew them not too long ago, just went back to US and Spain. Another one is going back to Korea in two three weeks.

James, me, Helga, and Wai (is not going anywhere)

Living in a different country is hard, most of the time you're alone finding your way around. And then you meet these people, exchange stories, share thoughts, argue and laugh endlessly, take the battle in KTV sessions, and drown yourselves with food. Spending time together makes you forget homesickness.


I've always known that there will come a time when we have to part and move on with our own lives. I've learned to accept it and just think that I've gained friends from other parts of the world. Ain't it cool - building international relations? I think it's awesome!


I have to stop saying 'goodbye'. I read an editor's note about the same sentiments I have with the word. Like me, she doesn't like the word. She'd go with au revoir, which literally means see you again.


I apologize in advance for being emo. I'm really not like this most of the time, oh you know me. I just really miss you guys.


P.S. Alexis, don't go anywhere!

Me and Alexis

The sky knows exactly how I feel right now.

It's pouring. I usually like it when it rains but it feels so sad today.

Emotional blackmail but worse

Repressed emotions are bad. I honestly don't want to entertain such because I know how vulnerable I become when I do.

I'm no stranger to this but I don't really need it now. It's like a secret you're dying to tell but for obvious reasons, you cannot.

I hate my life. This part, that is.

"You know you care for someone when you start convincing yourself that you don't."

No guarantee

Yesterday I lost the frame of my new watch, it fell along the MRT tracks when I entered the train. I had no time to get it back that morning because I was running late for work.

I started thinking about how I will retrieve it. My first option, ask Swatch if they can replace it. Second, ask people from the MRT to get it from the train tracks. I did both, just to appease myself.

I did not think about it the whole day as I was swamped with work. But every moment I looked at the time, I was reminded.

So I went to the store and asked. No immediate luck. I had to leave my number and wait for an update. They said there's no guarantee of a replacement. I'm not keeping my hopes up.

Had for a while forgotten about it until I was on my way home. I was planning on how to approach the MRT supervisors and nicely ask them to get the frame. Made my best puppy dog face and asked sweetly, even showing a photo. Again, no guarantee of finding it. I left my contact details anyway.

I tried all the possible options, I guess it paid off as I received good news when I woke up. Received an SMS from the nice MRT Uncle that he got the frame back. Bless them.

Jeremy Scott + Swatch's Opulence a.k.a. me trying to find happiness in material things.

P.S. I am not really materialistic, just sad.

Christmas Run 2010: PG and UST Friends

As any balikbayan and their family would, a vacation in the Philippines is not complete without the traditional Duty Free shopping. So there we went. 

When I was younger, I was always so psyched about Duty Free shopping because it meant that I could get my hands on stuff from the US. Boy, my brain was colonized. I still love Spam though. ;-)

The artsy-fartsy shot of the airport taken while in a moving vehicle.

Me and my Lola A.

After that, I had to run to Makati to meet...

Caitlin and JC to catch up,

then Ron, the Boyps and the bearer of my Christmas gift.

Last but so definitely not the least, my wonderful best friends in the whole wide world...

Bim, Cho, Ces, Lark, me, Eth and Cha.

Christmas Run 2010: GMCI Mode

I went home for the holidays. I'm very happy I did because I'd be pretty depressed if I didn't. I thought to myself I should've requested for a longer break but I'm afraid it will be harder for me to go back.

Anyway, that's another entry right there.

So here's how my Christmas Run went...

First stop was my GMCI Family:

 

Sara, Alma, me and Charl

Junie, Chen and me

So happy to see old faces and great to meet new ones of course. I was too busy being hugged or kissed which explains the lack of photos. Perfect way to start my Christmas Run.

It wouldn't be complete without the annual Trio Christmas photo:

Charl, me and Nix (2010)

We have a photo like this every Christmas, well, it just sort of started during our first year at work and we made it a tradition. Check out our gallery below.

Charl, me and Nix (2009)

Nix, me and Charl (2008)

Charl, me and Nix (2007)

Now, I'm sadder... but can you blame me, that's homesickness kicking in. 


P.S.
Please disregard our arms and cheeks.


Ta ta!