I'm static and it's not fantastic

What's wrong with me? Well, nothing really but sometimes I create static electricity randomly.

Exhibit A: Skin-to-skin contact

Easy, dirty-minded individuals! My friends tell me that they feel electrocuted whenever our skin fleetingly touch. I feel it too. Sometimes I see sparks coming from me, those white lightning-like sparks.

Exhibit B: Skin-to-metal contact

When I was younger, I almost died of electrocution because I keyed in the house keys in the electric socket. Talk about dumb moment. Spare me, I was a kid who loves to explore and experiment. My theory is, that's how I got this 'electrifying characteristic' of mine. 

Anyway, this often happens when I touch doorknobs and metal hand rails. For a time, I got scared and I had to use a cloth just so I could hold the knobs in order for me to open doors.

Exhibit C: Skin-to-fabric contact

This I hate the most although I think it's cool sometimes. Aside from the sparks I create, there's this crackling sound (like the one an aluminum foil makes). I hear it and I see it. Everytime I move under my blanket and when my exposed skin (hands, arms and legs, silly) touch the fabric I hear crackles. When the lights are off, you can also see white, bright and shiny sparks.

Another situation would be, polyester fabrics cling to me. Even sheer cloth too. My dilemma everytime is my dress hikes up when it clings. You can see my unwanted fats.


Bigger problem, how will I find out who Mr. Right is? When I have 'connection (via static electricity)' with every other person...


Oh well!