Of Christmases and Hope

"Second star to the right and straight on till morning." ~ Peter Pan

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. It's my most favorite holiday and something I've been looking forward to all year. It has been a happy occasion for the family. More than the food and gifts, it's a time when we all get together.

Jorgio clan's pre-Christmas lunch.

This year it's different. I'm not sure how to say it clearly because I'm clouded by my pent-up emotions. You see, I'm not good at articulating what I feel but what I really wanted to say is Christmas this time 'round was not how I expected it to be.

Take the recent tragedy in Southern Philippines for one. It was another wrath of nature everyone was not prepared for. It's like a thief, taking away thousands of lives at the break of dawn. Some people are still missing and feared to be dead until now. My love and prayers go to those who survived, who lost their loved ones and the selfless volunteers who risk their lives to help.

What I'm trying to say is, I fear for the inevitable. Like how cancer can recur and take away years from someone's lifetime or worse, take life in an instant. There was no life taken yet, thank God, but at the back of my mind it's just lurking around the corner ready to pounce anytime.

Christmas this year was spent in Ilocos. My grandmother was rushed to the hospital because of high-blood pressure, she has cancer too. Coincidentally, her birthday falls on the 25th. Her condition needed monitoring thus my first Christmas in the hospital. Usually, we'd go all out with loads of food, gifts, warm bodies who knows you but you don't exactly know (by name at least), kids running around, singing and laughter.

This time it was more reserved. Everyone speaking in hushed tones, overseas phone calls every minute, and forced smiles and laughter trying our best to mask the sadness. I admit I had a hard time preventing my tears to fall. I sneak in tears in the van on our way to the hospital every night. It was hard as hell. However, nothing is harder than the pain Lola Saling is going through. She's been battling cancer for years and now it came back with a vengeance, if I may say so. It is draining the energy out of her but I admire how she stays strong and positive.

Rico-Cabuyadao clan on Christmas Day and Lola Sal's birthday.

We made sure that we keep her day special. The singing and laughter were still there. Food of course was shared, and the kids, we're all grown up but we'll remain the young ones in their eyes. It's hard to leave because I know how much she loves having people around even if she hates the noise sometimes. 

The inevitable is still lurking, sooner or later it'll come.